How many times have you found there is no purpose, no point, everything just feels like one big fraud? You don't deserve to be where you are, and it is just by complete luck that you are.
Despite your very best intentions, you still have lingering doubts that one day, you will be 'found out', so what is the point really of trying to move forward. At this point, the subconscious takes over from the good intentions you once had - the things which moved you through all of that incredible progress, and the old habits, company, behaviour start to take over again.
With motivation gone, we notice the emptiness, the lack of purpose and the self doubt. That however is a great start - awareness is a key point in anything you want to change or be mindful of. If you are aware, there is a chance you can do something about it.
Now start to take stock of the situation, where do you spend your time, who with, what is it that you do - that is starting to quantify the behaviour - making it easier to frame - numbers, logic etc - it is meaningful to many and gives more tangible evidence.
Whilst consciously quantifying something may make sense, it is not until we notice the emotions and feelings which arise through those actions, that the massive, awesome, uncontrollable sub-conscious brain is ready to spring into action. By noticing how the behaviour affects (and serves or fails to serve) you, there is a chance of re-framing and moving forward.
Will power and best intentions however, do not always last the duration (remember what happened to this year's New Year Resolutions??) a plan is needed - one step at a time. Just like learning any new practise, you will not become a master overnight, but by one thing at a time, there is a greater chance you will move forwards and deal with the internal patterns which have shaped your behaviours in the past.
Then the challenge is set - embracing how good the new behaviours make you feel, and consciously working on retaining them, and not falling back into the old ones which you have tried so hard to move from. A combination of daily tangible evidence and emotional reflection on your feelings is likely to be a far stronger combination than just one on its own.
Almost all of us have patterns in our lives, recurring problems that discourage us, make us feel stuck, and steal our motivation to keep trying. But the good news is, those limiting patterns can be replaced by new patterns that bring you joy and success – if you know how.