Whilst it sounds great to bend over, pick up our children and give them a hug, sometimes (especially at this rather demanding time of year) it is easier said than done.
We are at the end of our tether, rushing around, meeting all the demands which society puts upon us, and start to miss the excitement and buzz which sweeps our children up. They become very enthusiastic, carried away, yet at the same time, you too are pulled in every direction.
Then, the child's behaviour is not compatible with our agenda. They become upset, we become upset, they lose control and then.....
What happens next? If only we could press the pause button, reflect, assess and take appropriate action, the outcome will be very different.
If, we can find that magic key, instead of fighting fire with fire, name calling, shouting, and so on, and instead, deal with upset with compassion, we give this little person who our life revolves around a safe haven - somewhere to go when it all gets too much. They hit out at parents, because parents are safe, the constant person, and especially after the hype of the day, maybe they just need something different.
It is not about rewarding bad behaviour with a hug, but giving a point to diffuse, to be safe, to try to respond differently.
Don't think for one minute this is possible every time!
At 4am earlier this week, food being demanded to be brought was certainly not high on my agenda of things to be woken up for, and as you may have guessed, I wish I had reacted with greater compassion and understanding. However, every time we manage to press that pause button, and respond differently, the time after it becomes easier.
After a while, your child responds differently, bringing about a happier world and life for all.
think about those times when you're at the end of your rope, and before you know it, you've raised your voice. Wouldn't it help you more to get a hug than a reprimand?