How many times to you feel burdened, dragged down by something which is all consuming? Often, it is an approach, a viewpoint which has put you there.
The trouble, is that once you have attached something to it, that something clings on for all it is worth, and now it starts to become reality, a fact, something which underpins our first doubts and thoughts.
On the other hand, we may feel wronged, harmed, put upon or taken advantage of, and again, this leads us to anger, fear, more stories to be made up, and sometimes (frequently I would suggest) an series of rather unhealthy thoughts towards others.
When we get stuck in those areas, it is very hard indeed to make any sensible, rational decisions. As a consequence, at Serenity, we frequently come across clients who are truly stuck, clinging on to thoughts, assumptions, and beliefs which to the outsider seem rather skewed, yet to them, they make perfect, logical sense.
In the attached article, Shamash Alidina takes us through 7 step process to let go which is :
1. Realise that you are holding onto a negative experience
2. Decide to see your situation in another way
3. See the reality of your situation
4. See the benefits of your situation
5. Feel compassion for someone who has 'wronged' you by putting yourself in their situation
6. Forgive them - for everyone else's sake
7. Enjoy your more positive mindset
All of the above seems an incredible (and maybe even unbelievable) thing to do - especially points 4, 5 & 6. It is a very challenging thing to work through alone, as the voice in your head called self justification, will keep shouting rather loudly.
Having worked through this in the past with a coach of mine Julian Danobeitia who runs Down The Corridor, whilst the process was somewhat uncomfortable for me to face up to (because I was hanging on to being right), the end result was one of much liberation and ease, when after 5 years, I let go of my anger. Having worked though it myself, I find that the whole approach can be of great use to my clients to bring them some clarity around their thinking.
If 7 steps are too much to deal with or remember, a simpler 4 step process is also outlined :
1. Mindfulness - that you have negative feelings
2. Perspective shift - look at it from the opposite angle
3. Compassion - how it would be from the other persons viewpoint
4. Joyfulness - applying a positive mindset.
At Serenity, we love working with people who want to change, to transform, and to find a greater peace in their lives by removing anxiety and worry.
And although I'd love to take the credit for being able to let go, it's all down to these wonderful teachings that we all now have access to.