I'm sure you know this type of person, and you can probably name two or three who instantly spring to mind. That charming helpful person, who cannot seemingly do enough for you and those around you, who have a number of strong advocates. Eventually, you start to hear of more and more people who have had 'uncomfortable dealings' with them. Then in turn, you start to wonder what is going on behind the scenes regarding you. You eye them with suspicion, treat them with caution, and rightly so.
If you cannot spot this type of person, here are 5 signs that may make you slightly wary, and put you on guard :
1. Conversations are always one-sided - A domination of discussions, where their point of view is 'fact'. The spotlight is always directed to them.
2. Repeatedly making demands - Continual reinforcement of their point of view and wishes. By continuing with these demands, they start to exercise control, and further reassure their ego, they are then 'more right'.
3. Using persuasion as a game - this is particularly perilous to those who are too polite or intimidated to stand up to them. It may seem easier to roll over than confront (what if it is just me).
4. Abnormal eye contact and body language - eye contact may indicate trustworthiness to many of us, yet, in this instance, it can start to revert to intimidation and control again. This is not a cast iron indicator, but a very good warning flag of people to be wary of.
5. Feeling 'bad' after talking with them - Perhaps feeling uneasy may be a better description when upon reflection, you become installed with negative thoughts and emotions, which may not have arisen during the conversation. Afterwards, you feel anxious, angry, filled with apprehension and concern.
There are some great tips on how to deal with these people in the attached article. The overwhelming guidance though, is that if these people just don't feel right, and do not rank on your list of priority people in your life, move away very quickly. Sooner or later, you will see them for what they are. In the meantime, you will have freed yourself from the angst and heartache which they brought to you in the first place.
They’ll smile, speak innocently, all the while making a deliberate attempt to deceive and control our very minds. Unfortunately, these manipulators all too often get their way.